Thursday, June 23, 2005

New Irony Trend

Look at the trend (some past and some future) and notice the various twists on the "progress" of various projects. Feel free to insert some of your own observations as well.

Construct a new Convention Center -- but make a new pruchase of a damn for the water treatment and fountain that runs down the middle of the interior road, at a price greater than the entire Citiparks' aquatics budget for running outdoor swim pools.

Build a natural grass football field, then run out and get new turf.

Give HEINZ naming rights for the football field, then sell Heinz to DelMonte and then have that firm sell the asset again.

Invest in a new airport for US Air -- and then have massive layoffs.

Build a new indoor basketball arena, because the Fieldhouse isn't good enough. Then pay $5-million to get a new, new roof.

Make a roller-coaster with a new loop -- and then close it a year later. Subtract the loop and give it a new name.

Re-pave a stretch of highway with new formula that prevents potholes -- and then re-do it with new, new pavement months later.

Close a number of fire stations, but then put in to build a few new ones.

Construct a new aquarium to join with the Pittsburgh Zoo, yet see the Amazon River Dolphin (poor Chuckles) and stingrays perish.

Have a great city skyline to display, but choose to put a light-rail extension in a tunnel under a river.

Choose to close schools to save money and be certain to shut down the ones that educate the most and retain highschoolers from dropping out.

Build a new jail for the next century then see it fill past its capacity within its first decade.

Program progress could include the outcome that firing police officers revealed a drop in crime rates.

Get a hillside designation in the city's zoning code, then suffer with great losses with landslides on many of those hillsides that cost more than $10-million to repair.

What's new with you? Generally there is good news, and bad news.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can only speak to the firehouses.

The fire department has always been grossly overstaffed. Now, one might argue that's good. When "the big one" hits, you'll still run out of people, but not as badly. Right now, we can't afford to be prepared for the "big one." Now that's ironic after 9/11.

When the fire department is reduced in size, it requires that the remaining firehouses be located in more central locations. Thus, you have to occasionally build a new fire house just as you get rid of the old one.

Now, if someone wanted to really save money (and probably get murdered as a direct result) the thing to do would be to consolodate all the little boroughs and townships and their accompanying public safety fifedoms. Police, Fire and EMS could be combined into one major department, improving training and public safety to boot.

Now, since I don't want to be ticketed every day by the police, I'm not going to sign this!