Poynter Online - By Way of Advice: Seven Style and Voice Tips Find a writing style partner.
'Don't give each other notes about whether your writing 'works,' whether your themes are valid, your characters believable, or even whether your voice is mellifluous. Those things are all important, and it's undoubtedly helpful to get feedback about them -- but when style is the issue, they change the subject. Instead, when looking at the other person's stuff, focus in on sentences, or phrases, or words. Where the writing seems tired or cliched, where the word used means something other than what was intended, where the phrasing is awkward, wordy or grammatically questionable, mark it, and suggest an alternative.'
And, if you need a Gmail account, let me know too. I'll send you an invite.