Florida payback

That's from the other end of the commonwealth

https://youtu.be/qaKZi6p6sxg

The great TP shortage at the outset of the pandemic

A man shopping in a supermarket brought his purchase of two cans of dog food to the checkout counter. The cashier asked, "Sir, do you have a dog?"

"Yes." replied the man.

"Well, where is it?" asked the cashier.

"I left him at home." He answered.

"Sorry," the cashier said, "You can't buy the dog food if I can't see the dog. Those are the rules!"

The next day he returned to the store and brought some cat food to the checkout. "Do you have a cat?" asked the cashier.

"Yes," he said, "but I left him at home."

"Sorry," she said, "If I can't see the cat, I can't sell you the food. Those are the rules!"

The next day the man walked into the store with a brown paper bag. He walked up to the cashier and said, "Here. Put your hand in here."

The cashier put her hand in and said, "It's soft and warm. What is it?"

The man replied, "I'd like three rolls of toilet paper!"

From the Pittsburgh Airport to Oakland, keep an eye out for this guy's visit. Hear he might be in town to interview and negotiate for a new job.

Let me know if anyone, perhaps an Uber driver, sees this guy around town. Pitt is on the prowl for a men's basketball coach.

Because Will, our water polo friend, is going to move to Yale for Grad School

Catherine to tell a story at the church youth groups COA (Coming Of Age) coffee house on Saturday, March 11.

Did they go blind? Yes.

Zing!

Jim R. Forsythe posted on Facebook's South Side Secrets page:

Top ten Bruceisms!!

1. We now have more Parking Enforcement Officers than pedestrians on East Carson Street.(ask the Pretzel shop).

2. South Side hospital has closed for business.

3. Zone 3 police station has closed for business, and soon to be up for sale.

4. Vacancy on East Carson climbed from 5% to 35% in 7 years. 

5. Beltzhoover and Knoxville havent seen the councilman in years, while the councilman is busy measuring sidewalk cafes on East Carson. 

6. South Side Slopes and Hilltop infrastructure continues to crumble while Bruce eyes removing the Shriners Circus. 

7. Residential parking plan that Bruce said cant be amended is now being amended. 

8. While the East End and Lawernceville continue to grow and expand, Bruce opposes the 25 million dollar apartment complex on 23rd and Wharton. 

9. Bruces staff turnover is more than hamburgers be flipped on East Carson. 

10. Bruce shelves 300k hospitality study that he initiated because " he always knows better". 

Stay tuned for the sequel because he just cant help himself! Can you believe we are paying Bruce Kraus with hard earned tax dollar money for his lack of council.
Note: We will trade him for any other councilperson or a warm six pack!!

Catherine Palmer's story on national radio broadcast --> Good news and bad news.

Catherine's story now has its own page.

http://themoth.org/posts/stories/good-news-bad-news

But, the problem is that her LAST story, The Toast, is now missing from the site, sadly.

Gotta listen. Only 5-mintues long.

Some are going to be really mad when Rand Paul wins Iowa

viral Syncro Skit

Post by THE FASTLANE ON ALGOA FM.

NSA Rap

The best I've seen about the Royal Wedding

Love the line, "Keep your hands off my Willie."

Google Motion: I'm hooked

Overview:




As a coach, this makes sense:

Good spam

Spam was something to eat, and it wasn't the worst we'd get. But, those were the good old days. Here is some spam that is a message from the old folks to the youngsters.

If you are 36, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!

Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd

Building Irony -- Philly Style

Hello Irony Citizens,

We are announcing an exciting event coming up early next year!
Veteran Philadelphia improvisers Amie Roe and Kristen Schier are
heading to Pittsburgh to perform on one night only. They take a
single audience suggestion and let their imaginations take over. The
kind of improv that only best friends can do together! A playful
undeniably girlish romp delivered by two of the most attractive women
Philadelphia has to offer.

Saturday, January 15 :: 8pm (doors at 7:30)
ModernFormations Gallery (Garfield)
4919 Penn Avenue
$6 in advance, $8 at the door

Earlier that afternoon, Amie and Kristen will also be teaching a
workshop:

Basic Instinct: a Killer Workshop on Emotionally-Grounded Improv
Saturday, January 15 :: 2-5 pm
ModernFormations Gallery
$30 if purchased before Jan 8, $40 after (limit 16 people)

For tickets or to sign up for the workshop, visit
http://www.ironycity.com/events/kristenandamie

See you there!

-Brian

Time for Fall! Or, perhaps we should just call it autumn.

Fall is here.



Let's be safe out there. Fall doesn't need to be full of flops.

Perhaps we should just call it autumn.

The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat has been AWOL since August 17

We've got a situation brewing in Pittsburgh's Blogger Land.

http://angrydrunkbureaucrat.blogspot.com/

August 17 was a long time ago and we're not getting any smarter.

Help! Go there and say something wise.

How to improve your golf game after watching the US Open at Oakmont

With the US Women's Open at Oakmont, near Pittsburgh, my boys (12 and 15) have been watching the play and working at the course selling programs a bit.

Erik's observation: He is now convinced that he'll make solid improvements to his game once he changes his golf wardrobe to include a sports bra and skirt.

If I was at Oakmont, I'd tail the women from Norway, Suzann Pettersen. I know how to swear in her native language as I've coached nearly ten swimmers from Norway. Then if she has a bad time of things, I'd know what she was saying.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzann_Pettersen

Taxed Enough Already

Brand new video, just out today. And, this is their first ever music video too.