Slate predicts McCain's next 10 Hail Mary campaign stunts. - - Slate Magazine

HON!

Slate predicts McCain's next 10 Hail Mary campaign stunts. - - Slate Magazine 1. Returns to Vietnam and jails himself.
2. Offers the post of 'vice vice president' to Warren Buffett.
3. Challenges Obama to suspend campaign so they both can go and personally drill for oil offshore.
4. Learns to use computer.
5. Does bombing run over Taliban-controlled tribal areas of Pakistan.
6. Offers to forgo salary, sell one house.
7. Sex-change operation.
8. Suspends campaign until Nov. 4, offers to start being president right now.
9. Sells Alaska to Russia for $700 billion.
10. Pledges to serve only one term. OK, half a term.

Do you have an idea for McCain's next campaign stunt? Send it to us at NextMcCainStunt@gmail.com, and we will publish the best ideas. E-mails may be quoted by name unless you indicate otherwise.

My suggestions:

A) In a pledge to make the United States 'Bi-Partisan' throughout his (McCain) term of President, McCain pledges to flip every registered voter of both the D and R parties into the same party, the corporate, unity, good-for-the-country party.

B) New party name, "McCan USA Party."

C) McCain, when asked by bloggers about the Green, Libertarians and Independent voters -- after hackers took over his web sites and that of CNN and Fox -- McCain offered a 'don't ask and don't tell policy' for joining -- or else a ticket on one of the seven floating prisons already holding detainees.

D) McCain proposes the building of the "Straight Talk Express" -- a high speed, elevated MagLev train from D.C. to San Diego that features perfectly straight track without any turns and curves paid for by (fill in the blank).

E) ...

Bumper Sticker Snickers

Saw one on the South Side today: McBush - Stalin. The pro-choice group ran a contest and came up with some cute ones:

* McCain-Palin: 15th Century Solutions for the 21st Century
* McCain-Palin: The Anti-Choice
* McCain-Palin: The Bridge to No Choice!
* McCain-Palin: (Supreme) Courting Disaster
* With McCain-Palin...There is NO Choice!

To be, ... or ... Not to be ... (a panda)

From china - bike - more

Pat Ford will be free to win the fishing contest in July 09

Pat Ford, not on the job since April 2008, is to get paid to June 2009. He'll then be free to enter a fishing contest on the three rivers and take home its $1-million purse. Presently, he's in Florida, fishing, perhaps.

Wonder if he'll come to town in the fall of 2009 to kick some Kenyon's ass and win the purse for The Great Race too?

401-Keg

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg. A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Makes You Proud To Be An American!

OMG - got a winning ticket to South Africa's prize in advance of the World Cup Soccer

Spam never looked so good. Much, much, much. Here is what was sent to me, via email. If I get sued for copyright violation, I'll know that they are legit and I'll have lots of money anyway. See the first comment for the text of the full header of this email.

---

CONGRATULATIONS FOR BEING THE LUCKY WINNER OF THE SOUTH AFRICAN 2010 WORLD CUP LOTTERY.

lotto sa

M T N LOTTERY GAMES CONSULTING

Company Reg No;1996/079414/23

M T N Building,132-133
Park Hurst,Balfour-Unit 1440
JOHANNESBURG,GAUTENG 2001
SOUTH AFRICA

2IN CONJUNCTION WITH

SOUTH AFRICA 2010

WORLDCUP LOCAL ORGANIZING COMMITEE

M T N 2010 LOTTERY DRAW NOTICE

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you that the M T N Lottery Game Consulting and the Local Organizing Commitee (LOC) of the 2010 World Cup, here in South Africa, has held an Internet Raffle Draw, and your Email Address was among the 2010 Email Addresses that was picked by the computer during the Third Quarter Raffle Draw (TQRD).

We are therefore with great pleasure, to notify you that your Email Address once again, happened to come out top number (1) out of the 2010 Email Addresses, on the FINAL BALLOT DRAW, and this had made you the JACKPOT WINNER OF THE SUM OF US$ 850,000.00(EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLAR).

Be aware that this M T N Raffle Draw was organised by the M T N Lottery Game Consulting (L G C) and the Local Organizing Commitee (L O C) of the 2010 World Cup, to create awareness for the world, as South Africa is finalizing their preparation for the hosting of the 2010 World Cup.

BELOW ARE YOUR WINNING DETAILS:

DRAW NUMBER: 4,13,21,27,36,38 BONUS 45.

EMAIL CODE NUMBER: 15/76/EF36

FINAL JACKPOT NUMBER: 0001

SN: 2010 / MTN LGC / LOC / ZA

WINNING INSURANCE POLICY NUMBER: JJA23ZA

INSURANCE COMPANY: OLD MUTUAL INSURANCE SA

AMOUNT WON: US$ 850,000.00

AGREEMENT:

IT IS NOW AGREED BY THE M T N Lottery Game Consulting (LGC) and the Local Organizing Commitee (LOC) of the 2010 World Cup, THAT THE WINNING INFORMATIONS WRITTEN ABOVE ARE THE ORIGINAL WINNING INFORMATIONS AS WAS SELECTED BY THE COMPUTER ON MONDAY 8 OF SEPTEMBER 2008, AND IT HAS ALSO BEEN AGREED THAT THE WINNER WHOSE THESE WINNING IN FORMATIONS HAS BEEN SENT TO, WILL BE PAID THE WINNING SUM OF US$ 850,000.00 BY SOUTH AFRICAN GOVERNMENT THE ORGANIZING COMMITTEE'S OF 2010 WORLD CUP LOTTERY WITHOUT FAIL.

Note that this program is being sponsured by:

SOUTH AFRICAN GOVERNMENT,MTN AND FiFA.

Mr. Kuash Behler, Our First Quarter Winner of

US$ 850,000.00 from Amsterdam, Holland

30th April 2008.

Our Second Quarter Winner Mrs. Ali Fatima from Nepal receiving her winning cheque of

US$850,000.00 also on the picture is her husband and friends rejoicing with them. 27th March 2008

Congratulations from all our staff and we also extend our thanks to the Sponsures for being part of our promotional program.

VIVA SOUTH AFRICA! VIVA SPONSURES

& VIVA THE WHOLE WORLD.

PRIZE CLAIMING INSTRUCTION:

To receive your prize, contact our Paying agent on the following Details:

Company: GLOBE FINANCE CORPORATION

Company Registration number: 1947/027670/07

Contact address: 27 NEWTON STR, NEWTON PARK,

P.O BOX 7706 NEWTON CENTRAL JOHANNESBURG

Contact person: MR. CALEB SMITH.

Position: Finance Director

TEL: + 27 787 931 175

Email Address:

caleb_smith96@live.com

Please keep this form confidential from public to avoid double claiming and contradition over the receiving of your fund. Very important, Lottery rules says that you must be 18 years and above to be able to claim a prize.
Announcement Made Today Tuesday 10 Of September 2008 (South Africa Time 10:25 am)

Congratulations from the Staffs & Members of the 2010 World Cup Lotteries Board Commission ;

DR Mrs. Teresa Botha Dr.Themba Woodroffe Mr. Rudolf P. Markhams

(Zonal Co-ordinator Sec.) (Board Member) (Promotional Manager)

Signed by:

Copyright 1994-2006 The MTN interative Lottery Inc.

All rights reserved. Terms of Service -Guideline

100860 8556 2548 9576ZA

Here's an easy way to start your day in a positive way:

1. Create two new files on your computer.
2. Name one file, 'Barack Obama' and the other file, 'John McCain.'
3. Send them to the computer's Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama' and 'John McCain?"
6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'
7. Feel better!

Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi and the PA House of Represenatives.

Sent to me by a friend. I did a few edits and doubled the elation by changing some of the words.

Doing the water cube -- off the board with clothes on -- Beijing scenes of us.

Sure, we went to see Michael Phelps and the rest of the amazing swimmers. But we also got to check out the water polo players as well as spend some time on the diving board!

Start Of Class For Shaler High School Delayed - News Story - WPXI Pittsburgh

Start Of Class For Shaler High School Delayed - News Story - WPXI Pittsburgh Students in grades 11-12 will report on Wednesday, September 10 and not on Friday, September 5 for orientation.

Students in grades 9-10 will report on Thursday, September 11 and not on Monday, September 8 for their orientation.

The first full day for everyone at the high school is Friday, September 12.

In a letter sent home to parent Superintendent Donald Lee wrote, 'the main reason for this change isn't construction as much it is giving our custodial staff extra time to clean and our teachers extra time to unpack their stored supplies.'

Shaler's new football coach, Coach Gordon, formerly of Penn Hills, has called for an extended pre-season football camp. So, the school district has delayed the start of school to give its football team a leg up.

Shaler won its first game. Meanwhile, Penn Hills lost its first game.

Way to go Coach Gordon. The school board in Penn Hills made a huge blunder.

We're going. But we're not into gymanstics like this guy is at end of clip.

If you speed them up, they are acting like the tail on the cow. It is done to bat bugs.

New punctuation guidlines to make sentences more exciting!!! - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Because of the high price of oil, these changes to the English language are being embraced. This should go a long way in keeping people happy this summer.

UnNews:New punctuation guidlines to make sentences more exciting!!! - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopediaNew punctuation guidlines to make sentences more exciting!!!

Pastor Jeremiah Wright to Address PA Leadership Conference

APRIL FOOL!

Good Bye Dollar: And a peek into the future

Click to play. Hint: It is the triangle that points to the right, either in the middle of the screen or the one at the left of the slider / progress bar.

Hat tip to a friend's blog, Three Rivers Post.

techPresident's Favorite Videos of 2007: Voter-Generated Video

techPresident – techPresident's Favorite Videos of 2007: Voter-Generated Video Favorite Videos of 2007: Voter-Generated Video

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Giggle at the PG: Invisible Men feature on the home page

Check out the P-G home page today. There is a link about 'Invisible men.' If you click on it, it goes to a page with an invisible article.

The link is on the right, down past half way. Look near the Steelers 75 link.

Screen shot art:

Home page:

Points to this invisible page:

Twelve Days

Another swim meet, but Dangy appeared

Grant had an inspirational cartoon character, Dangy. He showed up on this meet program.

Perhaps you missed this: I was a guest with Chris Mathews on Hardball

Panther Rants Rauterkus: I got two words for you, Chris: Poisonous Snakes. Forget using these things as research. We need to utilize them by dropping them in surrounding areas around Oakland.

So I've searched my photo archives for images of snakes, to help drive home the point. I know I've got something here.



Humping down the Snake River. That's Erik and Grant. Make more children Pitt fans!

We are, in this photo, on a raft on the Snake River.

The Great Wall of China snakes over the hills. But it is more of a dragon's tail, not a snake.

This pedestrian walkway snakes along the side of the road and under the highway. We need more elevated snakes in Oakland to take foot traffic off of the roads. Click image for a larger view.

The video from YouTube will be live in a few moments.

From planning-urban

Who is being "picked on now?" -- The kids are the one's in the cage here.

Kids in cages. Happy nonprofit weenies. Film at 11.

	"Help. I'm stuck in this cage. I want opportunities."
From people & vips

Pop Star The Hellertown, Pennsylvania, native ought to know.

Mark DeSantis bursts bubble. Won't play in Peoria

PJStar.com - Journal Star News... ratings ... have fallen off from past highs, said DeSantis ...

The answer is here. Mark DeSantis won't play in Peoria.

I coached in Peoria. I loved my time there. And, I even got to lead a Brave team.

I was the acting head coach of Bradley University's men's swim team -- the Bradley Braves.

The Mark DeSantis in Peoria isn't the same Mark DeSantis in Pittsburgh.

But, for the record, I played in Peoria.