Monday, March 13, 2017

Fwd: Is FOMO Ruining Youth Sports?



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: John O'Sullivan <John@changingthegameproject.com>

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IS FOMO RUINING YOUTH SPORTS?

I remember the day I coached my son TJ's first soccer game. He was only five, and I was so proud, so excited, and couldn't wait for him to play the game I loved.

There was one problem.

He didn't want to play.

When the game was about to start, he said, "Dad I don't want to play today." I was OK with it and the game went on. That week he went to practice, had lots of fun, and I thought all was right in the world. The next weekend, I was equally as excited for TJ to play his first game. Sadly, he was not.

As I set starting lineup he again said: "Dad I don't want to play." I don't think he liked the screaming parents and coaches from the previous game, as well as all the hustle and bustle that is five-year-old soccer.

This time I was angry. I was embarrassed. I was this A licensed, "all-star coach" and my own son refused to play. TJ, on the other hand, found a cricket to play with over by the fence. He was content. I was a mess.

What is wrong with my son? Why won't he play? What if he doesn't like soccer? Isn't he going to fall behind?

On the car ride home, I felt the need to address this issue, (likely to make myself feel better, as he was fine.) "So TJ…" was all I could say before my wife, who was in the passenger's seat, karate chopped me across the chest.

"What was that for?" I asked her incredulously.

"Really, didn't you just write a whole book about this?" she said with a stern look.

Indeed I had. But I was scared. I was afraid TJ was missing out on a game I loved. I suffered from FOMO: the Fear Of Missing Out!

On that day, and many days since, I've had FOMO moments watching my children play sports. I saw other kids their age who were better players, and wondered "what have I failed to do?" I still see other kids who play only one sport, improving quicker than mine, and worry mine will fall too far behind. I see kids attending additional skill training sessions and summer camps that mine do not. And I worry that my kids may be missing out.

I know I am not alone in feeling this way. I hear from parents all the time who feel stressed and anxious about their child's sports experience. Are my kids falling behind? If they don't do extra training now, will they make the travel team? Will they make the high school team? Will they have a chance to play in college? These are very legitimate concerns for the modern day sports parent. They might even keep you awake at night.

But here is the thing: they are just kids. They are fine. They need to want to do these things, not be forced to. Your child's path is not supposed to be every other child's path. Yet the Fear Of Missing Out is such a persistent feeling it scares me. It makes me feel inadequate as a parent. It makes me worry I'm letting my kids down. You too?

I should know better. I have seen too many times how too much, too soon ends in injuries or burnout for kids who are forced down a path they didn't choose, or who were never asked: "do you want this?" I have seen too many 12-year-old zombies walking around fields, with no joy in their step, and their love of the game long gone.

FOMO is one of the primary drivers creating a toxic youth sports atmosphere and making so many children walk away from sports far too soon.

We must overcome the fear.

As parents, we love our kids and we have great intentions, but FOMO causes us to focus only on the present, and not the long term. FOMO compels us to make all the decisions and steal ownership of their sporting experience. FOMO leads us to suck the enjoyment out of the sport in pursuit of dreams of stardom and scholarships. FOMO drives many sensible folks to take kids away from playing with their friends, search out the winning team, and make them specialize in spite of all the evidence to the contrary. FOMO makes us feel that we are letting our kids down by not providing them with every single opportunity, regardless of costs, time commitments, and the stress endured by our family.

Parents, I give you permission to take a deep breath, look at the evidence, and choose a different path. I give you permission to love your kids for where they are today, and not what they could be tomorrow. I give you permission to love yourself, even when you say no to a coach or a great opportunity because you simply cannot add one more thing to your plate or that of your child. I give you permission because the fear of missing out is ruining youth sports. It is time for all of us well-intentioned, well-educated parents to put a stop to the FOMO.

How? Answer these questions:

What do kids want from coaches? Sure, kids like to be on successful teams and have chances at scholarships, but what they want most according to research are positive role models who care about the person, and not just the athlete. They want coaches who respect and encourage them, who provide clear, consistent communication, who teach them the game, and who listen. Are you evaluating your child's next coach on that, or simply wins and losses?

Why do they play? Kids play for enjoyment and social aspects of sports. As they get older, they may define enjoyment and fun a bit differently than an 8-year-old, but one thing I can tell you is the day college, professional and Olympic level athletes stop loving what they do, they stop playing. So will your child. Ask your kids "why do you love playing, and what makes you love playing even more?" Then do more of that!

Are sports an extension of the things we value as a family? I am amazed how many times strong-valued families turn a blind eye to the values epitomized by their sports coaches and organizations. People who would never let their child lie or disrespect an authority figure consistently allow sports coaches to do those things, and are afraid to speak up because of FOMO, or because they are afraid their child might get blacklisted (and at times they are right, what does that say about an organization?)

Do we have sport/school/life balance? One day there will be no more practices to drive to, then what? Will sports still have provided your child and family with worthwhile, lifelong lessons in character, overcoming mistakes, working with others, and more? Did you spend any quality time with your spouse the last fifteen years, or take a non-sports, family trip? Do we question the coach who tells us we have to choose between grandma's 90th birthday or a league game? I'm not criticizing the families who make incredible sacrifices to allow their kids to play sports. I'm merely asking, "should we?"

These questions are far more important than asking ourselves "is my kid missing out on a scholarship?" or "Is my child going to make the high school team?" These questions are all driven by fear.

As Sophocles said, "All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride." We cannot be too proud to admit the current environment is based on fear, and while it serves the needs of many, the athletes are rarely at the top of that list.

Here are a few thoughts on how to remove FOMO from your child's youth sports journey.

  1. When in doubt, ask your child: What should I say on the car ride home, or on the sideline of your game? Do you really want to work with a private coach, or spend summer weekends at tournaments instead of with friends? Do you want to play multiple sports, or only one? How can I support you on your journey? If you are unsure, ask your child what he or she wants. The answer may surprise you.
  1. Read the research: It is a lot easier to combat your fear of missing out when you know you are standing on a foundation based on solid, scientific research rather than conjecture and "keeping up with the Joneses." I am amazed by many so-called "professional coaches" who've read no books or research, nor attended a coaching course in years (or ever), but who pontificate about getting to the next level. It's up to parents to know right from wrong and hold coaches accountable as we would school teachers. Start learning from experts in the sport. Here are some links to articles we have written on various topics with plenty of links to more research (CLICK HERE TO READ):
  • Early sports specialization
  • Talent identification
  • Scholarships and Recruiting
  • What kids want from coaches
  • The importance of enjoyment
  • The Car Ride Home
  1. Demand more from your youth sports organization: Don't look at the coach's win/loss record. Dig deeper. How does he treat the players? Does she invest in them as people first? How many quit the team every year without good reason? What happens to all the kids who don't get a scholarship? Would the parents on the team recommend this coach to other close friends or family? What are the organization's core values, and do they hold everybody accountable for them or do they turn a blind eye to poor behavior by parents and coaches and "just win baby"? What are they willing to compromise to win? What will your child get out of this experience if they don't win everything or get a scholarship? The answers to these great questions will speak volumes about the organization and coach. They reveal true intention.
  1. Be part of the solution: If you don't like the direction of your youth sports organization, be part of the change you wish to see. Coach, or run for the board of directors. I am convinced the vast majority of parents are great people, and if we'd ban together and start asking our youth sports organizations for the right things, great things will happen.

The next time FOMO sets in, take a deep breath. When you start to worry your child cannot miss this one weekend opportunity, or if he doesn't go to the all-star camp at age 10, or he is falling behind, take a moment and reassess. Is her career really about to come to a screeching end for taking a few weeks off? Even Mia Hamm took a season off from soccer as a child because she was burned out, and it worked out OK for her.

We cannot allow the Fear Of Missing Out to be the primary driving force in youth sports. We cannot let the small percentage of charlatans in the coaching, camp and sports facility world continue to manipulate us with fear, and convince us we are bad parents if we don't go to every event, play year round, or get in front of college scouts in middle school. If your child has the talent, drive, and love of the game, he or she will play long enough and hard enough to get noticed. The only thing for certain is that all kids who quit or have career-ending injuries before high school do not play in college!

Please, everyone, take a deep breath and let's reclaim sports for our kids. Let's ignore the FOMO. Ask your kids what they want, and support the things they are passionate about. If they want to do certain things, and they are within the realities of your family budget and time, by all means, try to make them happen. But if your child looks at you and says "I really want some time off, I really want to take a break from soccer," then let him do it. Let her be with her friends.

Don't let the Fear Of Missing Out in youth sports be the cause of your child missing out on his or her childhood. That would be the greatest tragedy of all.

____________________________________________________________________________

Upcoming Speaking Events: (email John@ChangingTheGameProject.com to learn how to host one on your community. We are now booking Summer and Fall 2017 events, so if you are interested please get in touch)

March 14-15: Massachusetts Rec and Parks Association (John)

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April 7: Edmonton Youth Lacrosse, AB (Glen)

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Friday, March 10, 2017

Fwd: For what it's worth . . .


From: John H


Ian Welsh

The horizon is not so far as we can see, but as far as we can imagine

Arctic Permafrost defrosting And the Age of War and Revolution

2017 March 10 | Ian Welsh

 

For well over a decade I have written that we are past the point of no return on climate change.  My reasoning was that hothouse gasses already in the atmosphere or which were for sure going to enter the atmosphere given our lack of action, were enough to trigger massive carbon and methane releases.

Methane is a far more potent greenhouse gas than carbon…

We've seen that methane, which accounts for only 14 percent of emissions worldwide, traps up to 100 times more heat than carbon dioxide over a 5-year period. This means that even though carbon dioxide molecules outnumber methane 5 to 1, this comparatively smaller amount of methane is still 19 times greater a problem for climate change over a 5 year period, and 4 times greater over a 100 year period.

It is even more potent in the short run.  Meanwhile, the arctic circle was about 30 degrees warmer this year than normal, and permafrost is un-perma-ing.

Huge slabs of Arctic permafrost in northwest Canada are slumping and disintegrating, sending large amounts of carbon-rich mud and silt into streams and rivers.  A new study that analyzed nearly a half-million square miles in northwest Canada found that this permafrost decay is affecting 52,000 square miles of that vast stretch of earth—an expanse the size of Alabama…

…Similar large-scale landscape changes are evident across the Arctic including in Alaska, Siberia and Scandinavia

There is no way we are avoiding near worst case scenarios for climate change without aggressive geo-engineering (completely unproven, and requires political willpower).  We will see temperature increases in some parts of the world which are currently highly populated make those places uninhabitable outside of air conditioning.  We will see changes in rainfall patterns which will cause large areas which are currently agricultural powerhouses to fail; an effect which will be compounded by the fact that we have vastly drained and polluted our groundwater in prime agricultural areas.

Later on we will see vast rises in the ocean level.  Virtually every city sitting on the seashore today will be gone in a hundred years, some a lot sooner.

This stuff is baked into the cake.  It is essentially unavoidable.  It has been effectively, politically, unavoidable for quite some time now.

Do not expect political, economic and social arrangements you favor to survive this.  The waves of refugees will be magnitudes larger than those currently shaking the Middle East and Europe.  There will be water wars; people will not sit still while they are dying, they will fight.  Some of those wars will involve, at the least, the use of tactical nukes.

Capitalism, Democracy, the Chinese Communist Party, etc. … any system and group of people who can reasonably be blamed for this, will likely be on the block.  When hundreds of millions to billions start dying, they will not go easy into that long dark night, no, they and those they leave behind will look for people and ideologies and organizations to blame, and they will find them in plenty, because everyone and everything in power has failed to prevent an entirely foreseeable and largely preventable disaster.

Our failure will not be considered acceptable to those who pay the bill, and our "capitalism" and "democracy" and "corporations" and "free trade" and everything else you can think of will be on the block, liable for destruction.

This is coming on faster than many expected.  Added to ecosphere collapse, the current cyclical capitalist sclerosis, and vast arsenals, it is going to be immensely damaging.

If you aren't old, or sick, you're going to suffer some of this.  If you're young, you're going to suffer a lot of this, assuming you aren't an early casualty.

So it is.  So it shall be.  We were warned, we chose not to act, because corporations needed profits or something.

So be it.

John

Fwd: The fruits of hubris

From: John H


Attached are two articles from Consortium News that are tangentially related but should each get your attention in a very visceral way.  The first is particularly chilling in that it describes a peculiar state of mind, which is apparently spreading through the defense department, in which senior military and political officials are convincing themselves that it is conceivable that the US could 'win' a nuclear war with Russia if we strike first.  More importantly, there is at least the suggestion that the sooner such an action can be taken the greater the likelihood of success.  This is clearly an insane premise.  Unfortunately, the second post, written by ex-British diplomat Alastair Crooke, describing in some detail Steve Bannon's worldview makes the premise of the first article much more likely.
I have to say that one, of the many, reasons I opposed Hillary's ascension to the presidency was her long-standing antipathy toward Vladimir Putin and Russia, along with her almost constant willingness to have the US engage in senseless wars all around the world.  Trump at least offered the case that he believed this to be foolhardy; and, while I was not in any way a Trump supporter, this at least seemed a more rational worldview.  Now we know that a Bannon-inspired Trump is no less a risk to the survival of the world than neocon-inspired Hillary.  Trump, on the other hand, has always been a greater threat to the social structure of the nation even though Clinton was no bargain herself.


John

Links

  1. Dreams of 'Winning" Nuclear War on Russia, PDF
  2. Steve Bannon's Apocalyptic Unravelling, PDF 


Fwd: Pittsburgh Public Schools Update - March 2017

March 
2017

Dear Mark,

 
We are pleased and honored to be named one of the nation's first-ever 'Great Districts for Great Teachers.' We join just seven other districts chosen for this distinction based on the excellence of our system in developing, valuing, and supporting our best teachers. The award affirms how our teachers, principals, administrators, and other members of our district family have collaborated on effective policies and practices that make our district a great place for great teachers to work.
 
The National Council on Teacher Quality (NCTQ) has created this award to recognize and celebrate the districts doing the most to attract, support, and keep great teachers. NCTQ is a national nonprofit organization committed to modernizing the teaching profession so that all children have effective teachers and every teacher gains the opportunity to become effective.
 
NCTQ designed the Great Districts for Great Teachers initiative using its extensive experience analyzing district policies and teacher issues. It created the initiative's categories and criteria with the assistance of veteran teachers and key school administrators.
 
Unlike other accolades, this is not based on test scores. Instead, it recognizes that our teachers say PPS is a great place in which to work, that we listen to teachers' concerns, and that we go the extra mile to help teachers become better.



We became a Great District for Great Teachers after a careful evaluation. As part of a rigorous 18-month process, we provided NCTQ's analysts with extensive materials and answers to over 100 questions. They conducted surveys and focus groups with over 300 teachers to learn their private opinions about PPS and how we treat teachers. They compared our policies to what research has proven helps teachers the most -- compensation, professional support, effective management and operations, career and leadership opportunities, and support services for students. 

This recognition would not have been possible without the leadership of former superintendents Mark Roosevelt and Dr. Linda Lane, and the collaboration they built with the Pittsburgh Federation of Teachers, more than seven years ago, to transform our teacher growth and evaluation system.  
 
We hope we can help lead the way for other districts in the same way that our great teachers have become inspiring role models and leaders for the entire teaching profession.  
 
This is the first year the National Council on Teacher Quality has named Great Districts for Great Teachers. More details about the program can be found at http://www.greatdistricts.org. 
 
 
Dr. Anthony Hamlet
Superintendent, Pittsburgh Public Schools

   
On a recent visit to Pittsburgh Brashear High School, I had the opportunity to hear from students regarding the positive impact the school's new STEAM program is having on their learning.  
#WeArePPS



Code of Student Conduct Community Forums

As part of the process for updating the District's Code of Student Conduct, we will host three community forums.  The Code of Student Conduct outlines the expectations for student behavior in school, at school sponsored activities and on District transportation.  We want to capture broad input from parents, students, staff, and community as we work to foster positive school-wide cultures and climates in all of our schools and accelerate approaches to discipline that are progressive and restorative. Help inform our recommendations to the Board of Directors in April by sharing your voice at an upcoming community forum.
 




Miller African Drums
School Spotlight
Pittsburgh Miller PreK-5

Take a look inside Pittsburgh Miller PreK-5. Nestled in the historic Hill District, Pittsburgh Miller is the only African-Centered Academy in the city of Pittsburgh.  Watch this video to learn more.



PPS in the News
Hamlet hears from the community 
New Pittsburgh Courier - March 1, 2017 

Just because Pittsburgh Superintendent of Schools Anthony Hamlet has already held multiple meetings with parents, education advocates and stakeholders from across the city and incorporated the feedback into the district's visioning, it doesn't mean he's stopped listening. 

During a recent forum in Homewood, Hamlet said he will continue to gather community input for as long as he is superintendent.

"I've said this before. I want this to be my first and last Superintendency," he said. "I want to be here 10-15 years because you can't create consistency if every two or three years there's someone new in charge."


 


PPS Student to Watch!
Natalia Hajlasz Named Regeneron Science Talent Search Finalist 
 
Join us in wishing Pittsburgh Allderdice student Natalia Hajlasz well as she heads to Washington, D.C. this week to undergo a rigorous judging process as part of the Regeneron Science Talent Search, the nation's oldest and most prestigious science and math competition for high school seniors.  Natalia and 39 other finalists were selected based on the scientific rigor and world-changing potential of their research projects.
 
Natalia's project models the molecular dissociation of magnesium and water.  This work helps scientists better understand protein folding and DNA interactions.
 
Natalia will receive at least $25,000 from the Regeneron Science Talent Search for being named a finalist, upon completion of finals week.  She previously received $2,000 for being named a scholar. Pittsburgh Allderdice also received $2,000 for Natalia's achievement. 
 
This year's finalists will compete for more than $1.8 million in top awards - more than half of the Regeneron Science Talent Search total annual award distribution of $3.1 million. The top 10 awards range from $40,000 to $250,000 for the first-place winner. Winners will be announced at a formal awards gala at the National Building Museum on March 14.


High School Training for Emergency Services Careers 
Kidsburgh

With the cost of college so high, there have been conversations about adding more vocational training in high schools. The Pittsburgh Public School District is doing that with a new program that began this school year.

The "Emergency Response Technology" program trains high school students to be police officers, firefighters and EMT's, or emergency medical technicians. This program is in its first year and is already getting huge support from the c
ommunity, businesses and the students.

 
Five-Year Strategic Plan Update 
Community Schools Steering Committee Presents Phased, Tiered Plan to Board.
District representatives from the 26-member Community Schools Steering Committee shared its report and timeline for establishing community schools in the Pittsburgh Public Schools, using a national best-practices model. Under a phased approach to implementing community schools, PPS will invest in all schools to increase holistic support for all students.   Learn more.
Contact
Dr. Anthony Hamlet, Superintendent
341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh PA
Stay Connected
Facebook   Twitter

"Instruction ends in the school-room, but education ends only with life."

- Frederick W. Robertson
Pittsburgh Public Schools, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15213



Thursday, March 09, 2017

Join Northside Partnership Project and Josh Gibson Foundation at the Pittsburgh Opera

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0ByN94c3Pp4BpUkFjSndrVDFuOWJjS2R1SzgwZUNCNWRrR3F3

Link above has a PDF with more details, such as cast, etc.


Fwd: Popularity and sclerosis


---------- Forwarded message
From: John H

Ian Welsh addresses Trump's popularity and the sclerosis of globalization.


John

Link:

Gov Wolf and edu funding


And, the governor who ran falsely accusing his predecessor of cutting funding to public education is now proposing his own cut to school districts. The Wolf Administration wants to reduce state subsidies for transportation on the premise that gasoline prices have dropped.  The end result would be school districts having to make up the difference through budget cuts, or more likely property tax hikes. 

At the end of the day, the governor's budget is rife with faulty revenue assumptions, tax shifts, and spending increases again ignoring the reality that state government already spends more than we can afford.  To make matters worse it does nothing to address major cost drivers like the massive unfunded liability in our state employee pension funds.

Tuesday, March 07, 2017

Fwd: Sliming in

From: John H

As the neoliberal/neoconservative nexus pushes on to each American's front door, the slime of neofeudalism is slowly oozing under the door and into the living room and threatening each and every one of our futures.


John

Link

Austin, TX, home to an Internet Marketing Expo in May

Check it out with this link. 

Monday, March 06, 2017

Fwd: 2017 Wrestling Youth Clinic in eight days


From: St. Louis Sports Commission's Sportsmanship Foundation

2017 Wrestling Youth Clinic
St. Louis serves as the proud host of the 2017 NCAA Division I Wrestling Championships. The Sports Commission and Mizzou are proud to offer this outstanding FREE clinic for 2nd-8th graders on Tuesday, March 14 at Scottrade Center. Space is limited. Please click on the flyer below and register your kids now!



Like us on FacebookVisit our blog
St. Louis Sports Foundation, 308 N. 21st Street, Suite 500, St. Louis, MO 63103

Sent by salexander@stlsports.org in collaboration with
Constant Contact

Fwd: Nail it . . .


---------- Forwarded message
From: John H


WOW, Chris Hedges and Matt Taibbi nail it in this TruthDig article.  This is must reading.


John


Links

Charter Schools, a report from Tulane. In NOLA, 93% of the kids in public schools are in charter schools.

http://news.tulane.edu/news-pr/cowen-institute-releases-state-public-education-report

Fwd: War it is . . .

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: John H


Well, it appears that the verdict is in and . . . WAR is the in thing in the Trump administration.  This doesn't appear to be promising – here or there.


John

Link:




Sunday, March 05, 2017

Update for swimming

Noah Jamison, 10th grade, Obama, was officially notified that he has qualified for the PIAA Swim Class AA Championships at Bucknell starting March 15, 2017. He qualified with his fast performances in both the 200 IM and 500 free at the recent WPIAL meet. Noah set a new school record in the 500 free, 4:54.01, bettering a previous record from more than four years ago that was held by Erik Rauterkus, the oldest son of Head Coach Mark Rauterkus. This year marks the ninth consecutive year Coach Rauterkus has led PPS athletes to the state championships, and in 2017, three athlete get to compete: Jamison, Sead Niksic, 11, and Amilia Niksic, 9. The later two were automatic qualifiers. Sead is seeded second in both the 100 fly and 100 back.

Fwd: Two for the road: Keynesianism and Scab Economy / Anti-Union Movement

---------- Forwarded message
From: "John H


A couple more articles dealing with what got us into the current fix.  Understanding history is 80% of making meaningful change.


John

Links to articles