What if a candidacy raised a zillion dollars and no one voted?

The Ron Paul Internet phenomenon is unlike anything else in recent elections. There have been incredible spikes in fundraising for the Good Doctor and an eclectic mix of supporters continues to look just like the cast of a Federico Fellini film.

Ron Paul is NOT an effective leader of people.

What is amazing to a Conservative voter is that Dr. Paul’s supporters are not Republicans, but a mismatch of political ideologues who oftentimes simply act the picked upon, bullied victim.

A quick scan of Paul’s political beliefs ticks off like a conservative Republican’s wish list. No tax hikes, repealing the IRS, withdrawal from the United Nations, a strong stance of gun owners’ rights; however, the oldest candidate in the race boasts a charisma-free resume that will never garner wide, mainstream appeal.

In some ways, the elderly, yet spry Paul is the quintessential Don Knotts of the Presidential race. He seems easy with the pre-written jokes and sharp on the stump. Paul, like Knotts before him, does not command an authoritative presence. He’s the bookish anti-cowboy during a time in which John Wayne is needed. Or Chuck Norris.

Religion is always a sticking point in Presidential elections, especially when the “Religious Right” is still considered a major voting block. Paul’s religious affiliation is as checkered as his supporters. Married in a Presbyterian Church, Mr. and Mrs. Paul raised their children in the Episcopalian Church, while Ron’s religion (on Wikipedia) is listed as Baptist, despite the notation that he considered becoming a Lutheran minister. Needless to say, since Paul practically “tried out” every religion, voters who value faith in a candidate won’t be clamoring for the devoutly fickle Paul.

The fact is, there isn’t a true front runner on either side of the aisle. Mitt Romney (two separate Presidential compatibility tests says he’s by far my candidate, yet I cannot wrap my arms around him) is from Central Casting. Fred Thompson, who came in second in one of my online tests, watched his campaign peak when he announced his candidacy on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno (Leah Thompson has more of a shot of being the GOP nominee now). Thompson, an actor by trade, tall and rough-looking by genetics, was touted by some to be the most Reagan-esque. But he’ll drop out soon.

Mike Huckabee isn’t much more convincing than Paul, in spite of the fact that wrestling legend Ric Flair endorsed him. If elected, Huckabee might be the only world leader able to make Kim Jung Il tap out to the Figure Four Leg Lock.
On the other side, Barry Hussein Obama is the “cool kid” to support, despite a legislative resume that’s lightly more impressive than mine (and I’ve so far turned down the various offers to run for public office—yes there have been three or four). The “Smartest Women in the World” talk has been silenced in the Hillary “I already have the drapes measured” Clinton camp. American Gladiators has made resurgence, Clinton says, perhaps she can insult women’s characters again for four or eight years. Jebus help us all if Hillary shrieks her way back to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Since Ron Paul isn’t ever going to come close to earning true Republican votes in the Primary process, he would best be served in someone else’s Cabinet. Perhaps he could serve his country as Secretary of the Treasury or in a post that would best utilize his intellectual mastery of the Constitution.

What’s ironic is Ron Paul’s candidacy could possibly translate into some sort of Independent run. That would be a disaster for those who share in his “Leave Us Alone” philosophy. This mishmash of supporters would vacuum enough votes from the ultimate Republican candidate to open the White House doors to a “Big Government” Democrat who will most assuredly squash all of the “freedoms” Paul’s followers espouse.