Snips from Chris Chandler: The Muse and Whirled Retort

T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
June 1, 2006

Woodstock, NY -- By the time we got to Woodstock we were…. Hey, there is only 2 of us in this car – but who's counting. Clearly not the main stream media. Clearly not Neil Young. Ya know, Neil – it is not that there are no protest singers – it is there are no outlets for us to be heard. Not a minor point here. But, you know, I have been on about that for a long time. I am just glad that Bush’s numbers are now so low – even the country music fans are turning against him – Congratulations Dixie Chicks! What’s next? I am waiting to see one of those NASCAR drivers with a big peace sign on the hood of his car. It would really be cool if the car ran on Bio-Diesel. Willie Nelson’s Race Car.

Magellan proved Copernicus right by circumnavigating the globe.

Someday someone is going to prove Einstein was right. But to do it we’ll have to learn a lot about ….infinity.

Ya see, Einstein maintained that the universe is round. He said every straight line in the universe eventually intersects itself. Think about that! The implications are staggering… It would logically follow that Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell will eventually admit that they have always been secretly attracted to each other. Perhaps move to Canada… admit that they’ve always been… Episcopalians.

Perhaps this is a good place in the news letter to mention that next Tuesday will be 6-6-6. (Really) perhaps this is why our president – who seems to be convinced the rapture will be any day now so it really doesn’t matter how badly he screws things up - does not seem concerned that our brave fighting men have become vigilante serial killers in Khaki. It is because they are not.

In Haditha he says, “Oh just a few bad apples.” OK I would like to believe that. Ya see your buddy get killed and ya wanna go kick some ass. Hell, I am a pacifist and I can feel that pain. They should still be prosecuted. However, I don’t believe those soldiers are the problem. It is not a few bad apples. Ya see, 8 MONTHS AGO! That means there WAS a cover up. Was it a few bad apples that covered it up?

Was it a few bad apples that paid the victims families off? (FACT) was it a few bad apples that approved the funding of the pay off? Was it a few more bad apples that ignored the pay off when balancing the books? Was it a few more bad apples that ignored the books when they came into your office? That’s a whole lotta apples. Remember Apple Pie is one of our National Symbols.

Or, George, could it be the other way around – that, in fact there are only a few bad apples. They are you and your cabinet. When the rapture comes (perhaps on 06-06-06) I hope it is you and your cabinet filled with bad apples that go. So we can have our Apple Pie back.

You too, "Heard the rooster crow, at the brink of kingdom come. But you rolled over and mashed the snooze button, and we slept through Armageddon. ...

Chris' rant goes on and on.

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