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Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack
October 19, 2005
PITTSBURGH -- A zombie-preparedness study, commissioned by Pittsburgh Mayor Tom Murphy and released Monday, indicates that the city could easily succumb to a devastating zombie attack. Insufficient emergency-management-personnel training and poorly conceived undead-defense measures have left the city at great risk for all-out destruction at the hands of the living dead, according to the Zombie Preparedness Institute....
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The PG ran something, a day later. Really, there are many times when the bloggers and internet beat the PG -- as in scoops. Oh well. Who's counting?
Even lab rats have more fun than newspaper reporters
Even lab rats have more fun than newspaper reporters: "Post-Gazette gets scooped
Alarming news item from the Internet:
STUDY REVEALS PITTSBURGH UNPREPARED FOR FULL-SCALE ZOMBIE ATTACK
PITTSBURGH -- A zombie-preparedness study, commissioned by Pittsburgh Mayor Tom Murphy and released Monday, indicates that the city could easily succumb to a devastating zombie attack. Insufficient emergency-management-personnel training and poorly conceived undead-defense measures have left the city at great risk for all-out destruction at the hands of the living dead, according to the Zombie Preparedness Institute.
'When it comes to defending ourselves against an army of reanimated human corpses, the officials in charge have fallen asleep at the wheel,' Murphy said. 'Who's in charge of sweep-and-burn missions to clear out infected areas? Who's going to guard the cemeteries at night? If zombies were to arrive in the city tomorrow, we'd all be roaming the earth in search of human brains by Friday ...'
The story comes from The Onion, the joke news Web site. Or at least a joke to most people outside of Beijing. Three years ago, you may recall, an Onion spoof had Congress threatening to move out of Washington. If a new building with more bathrooms and better parking wasn't erected, the article said, U.S. lawmakers were prepared to pack up and move to Memphis or Charlotte. 'If we want to stay competitive, we need to upgrade,' then-House Minority Leader Richard Gephardt was quoted as saying. 'Look at the British Parliament. Look at the Vatican. ... Without modern facilities, they've been having big problems attracting top talent.'
The humor was lost on the Beijing Evening News, the Chinese capital's biggest newspaper, which lifted the story from The Onion. The parody featured an architect's rendering of a proposed futuristic Capitol comple"
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