Song: Libertarian Blues by Dave Hines

An elephant's your daddy.
He tells you what you must and mustn't do.
Make your son a caddy.
Some day he might join the chosen few.

A donkey is your mammy.
She wipes your butt and fills your face with snacks.
Whatever makes you happy
is cause enough to raise another tax.

Libertarian Blues
There's no candidate for me to choose.
No matter how the vote I'm bound to lose.

They say Bill screwed an intern.
The TV pundits made it such a fuss.
Screwing is illegal
unless they're doin' all of us.

Libertarian Blues...

Choke the smokers, eat no fat.
(Mmm... rack o' ribs!)
Lifestyle police is where it's at.
(Come out with your hands up, barbecue breath!)
Bureaucracy will fight your fights
(gunshots)
And eat away your civil rights.
(He won't be worryin' 'bout no cholesterol.)

So give away your freedom
until there's nothing left to save.
Sing the lawful anthem
to the home of the slave.

Chorus two times